CA

Just back from Long Beach, California for a conference for us grant writer types. (insert: "Laura. Boring.")

California, where all food, including breakfast, is served with sprigs of asparagus and slices of tomato, where cab drivers go 90 mph and honk the millisecond the light turns green, and where the morning television news anchors dress like prostitutes. I'm not even kidding a little bit.

One night, we went to the Aquarium of the Pacific, which was pretty cool since we had it to ourselves. Our entertainment was a guy from some American history foundation who single-handedly portrayed every president we've ever had. Starting with the classic George Washington wig, he said a few funny lines about his life, then turned his back and changed into another president's hair/glasses/hat, while humming patriotic tunes. It was a good concept for entertainment, but we've had a good number of presidents, so it got kind of long. The conference was good and I met some fun folks who I hope to see again, at least next year in Austin.

At LAX security, a passenger in line near me held up an egg carton and said to the screener, "This can't go through the X-ray machine. It has chicken egg embryos in it." The screener had clearly not heard that one before, but managed not to laugh like the rest of us did. I mean, really. I can't carry an unopened bottle of water through security, but this guy can carry a foam carton of a dozen chicken egg embryos?

By the way, Christian Slater was filming for "My Own Worst Enemy" at the marina by my hotel.