some assembly required

for the record, i'd like to say that i just finished assembling my new stationary bike. all by myself. even though the instructions said "two people required." well, there's just one person around here, so with determination and a little acrobatics, i did it.

while i'm at it, i'd also like to say that i changed the burned out headlight in my car yesterday instead of asking the auto zone guy to do it.

i know. why am i still single?

CA

Just back from Long Beach, California for a conference for us grant writer types. (insert: "Laura. Boring.")

California, where all food, including breakfast, is served with sprigs of asparagus and slices of tomato, where cab drivers go 90 mph and honk the millisecond the light turns green, and where the morning television news anchors dress like prostitutes. I'm not even kidding a little bit.

One night, we went to the Aquarium of the Pacific, which was pretty cool since we had it to ourselves. Our entertainment was a guy from some American history foundation who single-handedly portrayed every president we've ever had. Starting with the classic George Washington wig, he said a few funny lines about his life, then turned his back and changed into another president's hair/glasses/hat, while humming patriotic tunes. It was a good concept for entertainment, but we've had a good number of presidents, so it got kind of long. The conference was good and I met some fun folks who I hope to see again, at least next year in Austin.

At LAX security, a passenger in line near me held up an egg carton and said to the screener, "This can't go through the X-ray machine. It has chicken egg embryos in it." The screener had clearly not heard that one before, but managed not to laugh like the rest of us did. I mean, really. I can't carry an unopened bottle of water through security, but this guy can carry a foam carton of a dozen chicken egg embryos?

By the way, Christian Slater was filming for "My Own Worst Enemy" at the marina by my hotel.

Intervention

Have you watched the show on A&E called Intervention? It isn't the staged insanity of today's reality TV shows. Each episode tells the story of a person with an addiction of some sort, from the addict's point of view, their family's point of view, and with footage of the addict's behavior. I shouldn't watch it in its late-night timeslot.

The addicts think they are participating in a documentary about addiction. But the addict's family has arranged for an intervention from, well, an Interventionist. During the intervention at the end of the show, the addict's loved ones tell the addict how much the addict's behavior has hurt them, but how much they love them and want them to get healthy. The addict is offered entrance into a treatment program, usually with a plane ticket leaving the next day. So far, I haven't seen an episode where the addict refuses the offer, but I figure that happens occasionally.

As the episode ends, statements flash on the screen telling updates about the addict's recovery progress. Let's just say, I've had to get over wanting consistently happy endings.

Watching the show is making me ponder all sorts of unanswerable questions, like why do children have to go along for the ride as their mother drinks mouthwash as fast as she can, throws up in front of them, sprawls out in the yard, and gives them none of the care they need?

I know that the child can get counseling, but nothing really undoes what's been done to him. Statistically, he grows up, has a family of his own, and when things get stressful, he stops for cocaine on the way home from work. As an adult, he can't sufficiently explain to his wife what happened to him during childhood and how it effects him now. The pain in his past can be enough to ruin their marriage and his relationship with his kids. And so the list grows with more people who must live with the consequences of choices made generations ago.

I want everyone to turn out okay. But sometimes they don't. In fact, it seems like they usually don't. And that bothers me.

It bothers me that when you grow up and meet me, you don't believe me when I tell you that you're valuable and deserve good things.

twins!

This is the second time in a month that I have discovered twin Gerbera daisies growing in my flowerbeds! Two blooms on a single stem, joined in the center. In these two cases, the twins grew from different plants, in different flowerbeds, on opposite sides of my house, but both yellow plants. None of my red or orange plants are doing this. Anyone know how common this is in Gerbera daisies? I didn't know twin flowers could even happen.