"You sold us a hair with a cake around it. I'd like another one."

1) The waiter attempted to remember our order rather than write it down. Emphasis on "attempted."

2) My friend's grapes were served with a side of fuzzy mold.

3) The waiter took away my friend's plate (of non-moldy food) before she was really finished.

4) The waiter failed to ask us if we wanted shakes. At Steak&Shake. As in, we had to interrupt him finishing our ticket so that we could add to our order.

5) Then we were sorry we ordered shakes, as mine was served with a side of hair.

6) Meanwhile, the staff threw paper stars at each other while working. Near the food. Near the customers.

7) Upon hearing of the hair in my shake, the staff sat nearby and discussed whether or not the hair was theirs, how long it had been since they washed their hair, and other hair-in-food incidents they knew of. My friend kindly asked them to shut it. They did not.

8) Upon seeing additional customers approaching the door outside, the staff yelled, "Customers comin'! Look alive!" Well, at least they knew they didn't look or act alive to us, the customers who were already present.

The meal was free. No extra charge for the mold or the hair.

I'll not be returning.