Monday, October 31, 2005

Surprise!

Surprise parties are the best kind. On Saturday my family pulled off a fantastic surprise birthday party for my grandfather who is 80 years old today. I was sure I'd be the one to accidentally tell him about the whole thing - I've had to keep it quiet for months that Mom, Dad, Blake, and Lianne were coming into town.

We reserved a room at The Hermitage House Smorgasbord, his favorite restaurant. We arranged for a friend of his to plan a birthday lunch date so that we could be sure he would be in town for the weekend and at the right place at the right time on Saturday. When G-dad arrived, my aunt and I met him in the lobby and asked if we could join him and his friend for a birthday lunch. He said, "Well how'd you know we were going to be here?" Then we opened the doors to our room to reveal the crowd of people waiting for him. He was COMPLETELY surprised, so much so that for a second I was worried about TOO MUCH surprise, considering he is turning 80.

Dad, as the oldest son and the kid with a public speaking job, presided over the day. After lunch and cake, Dad gave a touching speech about G-dad's influence on his life and his examples of family and faith. Other speeches followed - including one about the whipping he got in the second grade for not knowing his 6-multiplication table. After the party, the kids and grandkids went to his house to open his present: a snazzy new television and a VCR/DVD player. This replaces the television he has had since they started making televisions and the VCR that doesn't work anymore. When we hooked up his new tv, we discovered he has had cable for the past two years and hadn't known it. His old tv wasn't cable-ready. The Fox News logo will be permanently burned into the corner of that tv in no time.

It was a wonderful weekend with the whole fam. I especially enjoyed the extra time I had with my parents and sis (and bro-in-law too). Dad told G-dad to mark his calendar for a surprise birthday party on his 90th.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Red and Yellow, Black and White...

Tonight I had dinner with a couple and we continued a conversation we started more than eight months ago when I worked with the wife (at the temp job when I first moved to Nashville). The background: The wife is white and the husband is black. They have one daughter together and another daughter from the wife's first marriage.

The wife started a new job about five months ago and really loves it. Loves the work, loves the atmosphere, loves the coworkers. She invited me down to the office to visit one day to meet all the coworkers, which I did. She has not, however, invited her husband to come to the office. In fact, she is purposefully keeping his race a secret from her coworkers. She has shown pictures of her daughters, but one is white and the other looks white in the baby picture she showed (even though that girl is 10 years old now).

When the wife and I worked together, she told me early on that her husband is black, but consciously kept it hush-hush to most everyone else. Their interracial marriage doesn't bother me, and I have spent plenty of time in their home and out with them.

She says she doesn't want to make a big deal out of "things" so she keeps it quiet. The husband never has much to say when she talks about this strategy, so I guess he is okay with it. But it bothers me. Sure, I am not in that situation, so how would I know, blah, blah... But I think even if it means losing her job because some coworkers MIGHT make it miserable, her HUSBAND is WORTH that. Does he reeeally not resent her just a little for trying to hide him from her coworkers? What is their "way of handling things" demonstrating to their daughters about relationships?

I hope my husband is proud of everything about me and would say so to his coworkers.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Erinshiiiiiiiiiire*

*pronounced Irish-ly, as only Cole and Tiny RP can do.

This post is only relevant to a few folks. But, only a few folks read this blog, so I suppose there is a chance it is relevant to everyone who reads it, sans Karen.

I just want everyone to know how SAD I am that I will not be attending Erinshire this year. Unless, of course, the Singular Journey class has taken up a collection on my behalf because they miss me SO MUCH. Please know that I will spend the entire day sitting on a blanket in my backyard, with a green wristband on, imagining the Erinshire scene, and applauding from 9-10pm which is when JP should be on stage.

What's a girl gotta do to get an '05 Erinshire t-shirt?

Sunday, October 02, 2005

we need more hands

this past weekend, i went to Slidell, Louisiana with seven other folks from my church to help with clean-up after the hurricanes. our church has been in contact with some families we know at Faith Bible Church in Slidell. we collected money, recruited volunteers, bought supplies, and hit the road before sunrise on friday morning.

See pictures here: http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=8Acsmrlw2YtnqQ&notag=1

watching television and reading articles about this disaster in no way prepared us for what we encountered. people who were not in the path of the storm don't have a clue about what it is like down there. life goes on here in Nashville, and it goes on in the media, but it hasn't gone far on the coast. our pictures don't let you smell the sludge, breathe the dust, live without water or electricity, or stand in the presence of complete destruction. we saw damage in Alabama and Mississippi - 150 miles before we ever reached Slidell, Louisiana. good thing we knew where we were going, since most of the street signs (including interstate exits) are down.

when we arrived at the church, we had a trailer of supplies to unload. we were greeted by the preacher's wife, who is operating in a state of shock. she couldn't quite put together the words she needed to explain where to put the cots, tables, chairs, refrigerator, and other items we brought. there were only eight of us, but eight was enough to overwhelm her and the others staffing the operations at the church. they must go through this every single time a new group of volunteers arrives. i guess this is the paralysis that sets in when a person is faced with infinite questions to answer about life, health, and recovery on an ever-changing timeline with incomplete information.

after the storm, the church members began helping their own members, then firefighter families because the preacher is the fire dept chaplain, and have now expanded to friends of church members. on saturday morning, we got our assignment: to help gut the home of larry and merryanne (and three children), a family from the church. as it turns out, they have the means to hire the work done and had refused volunteer help up to this point. the church insisted though, as a thank-you for their allowing all church volunteers (100 each weekend) to shower at the health club they own that was spared in the storm. when we got out of our vehicles at the home, we were confused because the outside appeared undamaged. however, the lake came from three miles away and left four feet of water inside.

merryanne sobed as we held hands and prayed outside their home before starting to work. this is the beginning of week six since the storm. she says some days are work days and some days are cry days.

the water tore the massive double front doors off the hinges toward the inside, then flowed through their home pushing furniture from one side of the house to the other. it filled every drawer, bathtub, closet, and kitchen appliance. it forced the garage door outward until it splintered. the wind peeled the wallpaper right off the walls above the floodline.

if your house flooded in this neighborhood, you need to throw away everything that sits four feet from the floor or below, including the first four feet of drywall as soon as humanly possible to avoid having to trash the next highest four feet. we threw away things like... beds including frames, dressers, maple hardwood floors, carpet, most tiles on bathroom floors and walls, dining room table and chairs, all cookware, refrigerator, dishwasher, oven, washer, dryer, computer, vacuum cleaner, televisions, couches and all the other furniture likely inheritated from family estates, every box stored in the garage, silverware, placemats, tupperware, flower vases, wall hangings, mirrors with wooden frames, shoes, clothes, belts, linens, curtains, blinds, childrens' toys, childrens' clothes and shoes, trash cans, lamps, every book, every shelf that held those books, the staircase below the waterline, everything stashed underneath that staircase, windows and frames no matter how tall even if only an inch of them got wet, every door in the house including the big garage door, kitchen cabinets and everything in them... even the kitchen sink, which i carried out myself.

you may be thinking, "aww, just pour some bleach on that stuff and set it out in the sun." but on day 4 after the storm, merryanne found hairy, slimy, green, black, and white mold growing out of control. imagine what was growing behind the cabinets we pulled out during week five. there isn't enough bleach in the world.

you may also be thinking, "well, it is just stuff. stuff can be replaced." technically true, but it was little consolation to larry and merryanne as we put most of what they have always worked for into trash bags and dragged it to the street.

later, we stood at the edge of Lake Ponchartrain and saw the I-10 bridge stretching across the now-calm waters. from where we stood, it looked normal, but we have all seen the view from above. we stared through what was left of the stilts that once held homes and now look out of place sticking up in the water. we found some ducks that had seen better days. the streets were lined with furniture, cars, boats, appliances... even toilets. concrete slabs had been swept clean. on anything still standing, we saw orange spraypainted symbols indicating on which day an inspection had been done, and how many dead bodies had been found.

when we asked merryanne what they need the most, she said, "we don't need more water bottles, we need more hands." neighbors can't help neighbors there because everyone is in the same boat. as unreasonable as it may sound to you to drive hundreds of miles for a "service project," someone has to do it, so please help when you can. there are hundreds of thousands of folks who need help across several states. chances are, someone down there will be happy to see you.