if everyone loved and nobody lied*
when i hear stories of character failure on a grand scale, i always wonder how the situation deteriorated to that point. i mean, i figure cheating husbands don't start with sex with a stranger. they start with emails or phone calls or something "small" like that. students who swipe the professor's exam answers and pass them around before their crucial college final have probably been cheating since that "just this once" time in eighth grade. and the 15 year old kid in my town who got caught at a crackhouse by his mother, got mad and took off, stole a car, fatally shot the security guard who tried to stop him from stealing some sneakers from a store, then shot two other people in the mall parking lot... well, he must have gotten his start stealing pacifiers from other babies.
lately i've heard more examples than i can stand where people told 'little white lies' that brought some benefit to them while 'no one got hurt.' and in all the cases that come to mind, the situations were told in a way that glorified the liar for having gotten away with something.
so far, i understand that it is okay to be dishonest to strangers because we won't see them again, okay to steal in one way or another from a person or a business because the world owes us something, okay to withhold information from a significant other because you'd be in trouble for it if they knew, okay to lie to a coworker when it makes you look better, and on and on.
there are a few rules to this game, though. like how we always get to be the liar, not the one who is lied to. and how we always get to be the one who is stealing a little something, not the person or business who is stolen from. and how we shouldn't be punished when we get caught cheating on a spouse because we had a good reason. and how we shouldn't be punished when we get caught cheating in school because we deserve a good grade.
i know that every kid who steals candy in second grade isn't going to grow up to steal cars. or a million dollars from his employees' retirement accounts. we have all done stupid things over the years which we knew were wrong and which we regretted.
but it concerns me when i hear grownups congratulating each other for having deceived someone and gotten away with it. why do grownups perpetuate the things we punish children for? because there is usually an, "i know it was wrong, but..." tossed in, which clearly makes everything okay.
stand up for integrity in the everyday things. so what if you lose a friend or two over it.
* "if everyone cared" by nickelback
posted by laura g @ Saturday, January 13, 2007
9 Comments:
Wow, Laura. What's going on up there in Nashville?
Heck yes - Offer a freakin invitation, Commander!!!
I SOOOOOOOO agree. Honesty is really only a virtue if we do it when it's HARD.
excellent post, laura. i get so annoyed around here about all the little lies the volunteers tell their community members. like instead of telling everyone they are going to a social event, they say it´s a mandatory meeting. or that they are vegetarian so they don´t have to eat the questionable meat being served. or they don´t drink alcohol so they don´t offend the evangelical community they live in.
i get annoyed not because i´m on the moral high road, but because i think it´s easier. it´s easier to just tell people what you are really up to. maybe i´m just not smart enough to remember all my lies and deceptions. but, in almost every case i can think of, the person who was lying as gotten themselves into a bit of a bind, and had to lie some more. mostly the volunteers think they are doing this so they can protect the feelings of the other people. my philosophy is to disapoint people with the truth right off the bat, and then win them back if you have to.
great post, sorry i got wound up!
I think so many times people lie to themselves before they begin lying to other people. It's part of the cycle you mention-- lies compounding/ enabling more lies.
disappoint people with the truth right off the bat... i like that, janet :)
I spend my days with my kids on the playground laying down rules of fighting well, mostly rules of forgiving and then rules of lying and rules of loving and rules of sharing not taking and then I walk right out of my classroom and fail at the same...thank you Jesus for the immeasurable amount of blood, mercy and grace poured out for a sinner such as I..
awesome post, my friend.
cheers to the post, laura. it is amazing what students try to get away with in class. but then why is it a surprise when society is saturated with the culture of deceit? at times it seems most everything is based on some sort of untruth, and it is disturbing that there seems to be little refuge and even fewer places where truth is encouraged. a casualty of the postmodern era and the information age.
thanks for your precious email...
Okay, I confess...for a little while I was "borrowing" my neighbor's wireless internet, but I haven't done it in months.
You, my friend, are a woman of great integrity...which is why this issue bothers you so much :)
AND...my word verification for this comment is Mr. Mogle. Who is this Mr. Mogle you speak of?
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